The Clerk

W. B. Laughead. Introducing Mr. Paul Bunyan of Westwood, Cal.
Minneapolis: Red River Lumber Company, 1914.

Illustrated by W.B. Laughead
Illustrated by W.B. Laughead

Excerpt from:
Introducing Mr. Paul Bunyan of Westwood, Cal.

Paul Bunyan

There is no biography of Paul Bunyan in the Public Library. No one knows when or where he was born. Such men as Paul are not born anyway, they "just grow." They say that Paul Bunyan logged on the Big Onion the winter of the blue snow.

According to some of the oldest lumberjacks - men you simply have to believe, Paul is the man who logged off North Dakota. Let the skeptic investigate this for himself. Looking across those treeless prairies he will be forced to admit that someone (why not Paul) did a good clean job.

From the same authorities we learn that Paul Bunyan dug holes where the Great Lakes are now. This he was forced to do to get a water hole for his big blue ox. Those thousands of lakes in Northern Minnesota are the tracks made by that bovine giant. The Mississippi River is the result of an accident to the water tank.

Paul always did big things in a big way. He thought nothing of driving logs the whole length of the Mississippi and booming them across the Gulf of Mexico.

Illustrated by W.B. Laughead

The Clerk

Johnny Inkslinger was the head clerk at Headquarters camp on the Big Onion. Whenever you wanted a pair of sox or a plug of tobacco Johnny was the boy who dealt them out to you at the Wanagan and charged them up to you in the big book. Some of the boys used to say that Johnny used a split pencil to double charge their Wanagan accounts but this was never proven.

Every one who quit the job or was discharged had to go to Johnny for his time check. This made a lot of work for him but Johnny could "daub out a walk" quicker than Big Joe could scallop the edges of an open faced pie. He invented a fast feeding fountain pen by running a hose from his pen direct to an ink barrel.

One winter Johnny quit crossing the "Ts" and dotting the "Is" and saved nine barrels of ink.

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