Tall Timber Tales

Anonymous. "Tall Timber Tales."
Lumberjack Bulletin, Weekly Industrial Worker Supplement [Seattle, Washington] 13 April 1918: 1.

I.W.W. Lumber Jack

Tall Timber Tales

Being the true account of the ramblings and reminiscences of Lumberjack Joe, side-kicker with Paul Bunyan, and custodian of the old blue ox.

Lumberjack Joe, lithe as a panther, swung his six feet of solid manhood into a Puget Sound lumber camp and abruptly halting his brisk stride, surveyed with a smile of amusement the sad looking job the tenderfoot logger was making in his frantic efforts to fall a tree.

"Which way is she coming down, son?" he inquired gently, with just a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

"How should I know?" wearily answered the perspiring youth. "I'm a logger, not a prophet!"

"Yes!" said the tall stranger with a rising inflection, "and where's the rest of the crew?"

"If you mean those damned wobblies, they're headed toward camp. They've all got split-second watches and they quit for the morning just four hours from the time they left the cook house. They're not loyal to the boss like I am!" replied the chekako as he spit on his blistered hands and prepared to resume his labors.

"Excuse me," said Lumberjack Joe politely, "but are the beaver plentiful around this camp?"

"There ain't no beaver in this section at all. What made you ask?"

"Oh, nothin' much, but I see a lot of trees that look like beaver had been chewin' on them and I thought maybe this camp was run something like Paul Bunyan and me used to log on the Mississippi."

"The last bunch of Sears-Roebuck loggers left the trees that way when they resigned their positions," said the tenderfoot. "But how was it that you and this Bunyan fellow logged on the Mississippi?"

"Paul and me trained a bunch of beaver to size up the timber and to chaw the trees so they'd fall right. We had 500 beaver working and we logged her clean. It kept a fair sized crew of men busy loading logs for the old blue ox. But even that was too slow for Paul and me so we taught the beaver to chaw part way thru one side of a tree and we worked them steady up till noon every day. Then the beaver knocked off logging at the same time that the crew quit fishing."

"How did that do logging faster, and why did the crew go fishing?" asked the alleged logger in amazement.

"Well, you see," said Paul Bunyan's side-kicker, "them beaver was fed on fried cat fish and when dinner time came the cook went to the door and blowed the dinner horn so loud that all the notched trees came down. Then after dinner the men loaded logs for the old blue ox to haul down to the river, and the beaver spent the afternoon catching fish for the men's supper. That was me and Paul Bunyan's ideas of e-fish-ency!" chuckled Lumberjack Joe as he strode away in search of the cook house and the red card crew.

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